I have to admit, I am just not feeling connected to this blog today (or yesterday for that matter). I cannot explain the shift that has happened, but I know that I need to make a change.
Most things in our lives come with restrictions, or standards, or some other form of extrinsic motivator. Our jobs require us to get up and go even when we would rather stay home and binge watch Game of Thrones. Our children require us to be present and alert to their needs, even when we’ve had very little sleep and prefer to exist in a more comatose state. Our livelihoods require us to constantly refuel and exercise our bodies, pay our bills, go to the bathroom, take showers, clean our homes… all the things we must do to stay afloat and fight entropy.
But blogging is not like that, at least not when it’s a hobby. It is not subject to extrinsic motivators or constraints. It is entirely up to us how often we want to post and what our subject matter should be. It is wonderful if we reach people with our words, but ultimately, we do this work for ourselves.
And yet, if you are a WordPress blogger, you probably understand the power of the little orange dot: that small indicator that someone out there is paying attention.
Oh, and the stats page. That fickle bastard.
What?! No views in two hours?! Well I must post something, then. I mean, anything will do! If I don’t my blog will fall into a black hole of obscurity and all of my deep thoughts/hard work will be for naught.
Because that’s the point, right? To build a readership. To become recognized by others as a person with important things to say. To become a real writer. (Because real writers get read, right?)
It is time to call bullshit on myself and these ridiculous limiting beliefs.
All of this ranting and raving is to say that writing about A Course In Miracles is not working for me. I will continue to read it on my own, and may refer to it here, but I cannot muster the gusto I felt while I was doing Pam Grout’s energy experiments. It is just not as fun. And if I am not absolutely head over heels in love with what I am doing here, then what’s the point?