Bumps, Bruises and Limiting Beliefs

The past couple of days have been a bit rough for me physically. Normally a very cautious person, I rarely participate in any activity that could expose me to significant bodily harm. I tend to consider the potential perils behind every move I make- a possible tumble down the stairs or twisted ankle lurks behind every step.

I do not know why I am like this, but my mother told me I was born this way. I walked very late and I rarely climbed trees or rode my bike very fast. I liked to play sports but I was never aggressive or daring enough to excel.

I suppose this means that I have spent my life with a somewhat crippling awareness of my own physical limitations. By this I mean that the awareness of my limitations may have imposed even more limitations on my physical self. If we give any credence to the Law of Attraction, then it becomes clear how constraining these beliefs can be. In other words, a perpetual fear that one’s body cannot perform as it should ensures that it will not.

So, as I said, I rarely get injured, though the last couple of days have proven a bit of an exception. I write to you today with a skinned elbow, a slightly twisted and scraped up ankle and a bruised and swollen finger. I have run into countless door frames and tripped on seemingly insignificant cracks in the sidewalk. I also have a rather attractive bug bite in between my eyebrows and a smattering of pimples covering my generally clear complexion. Come to think of it, my stomach has been a bit wonky as well. So what the hell is going on with my body?!

Perhaps my body is just responding in kind to the limiting beliefs I have imposed upon it. Or, perhaps with the increased spiritual awareness I have been experiencing I am suffering some physical discomfort. Many people theorize that clumsiness and physical illness can often accompany the process of spiritual ascension.

Or perhaps I just need to be confined to a padded room or get one of those bubble suits in order to reduce further risk to myself. Who knows?

On the up side, however, I did have one very positive experience with wellness right about the time that all this other puzzling physical stuff started. I have been visiting my mother-in-law for a few weeks now, and ever since I arrived I have been waking up at night with a strange cough. Allergies are quite severe in this part of the country, so I could chalk it up to that. But I have never had allergies in my life, so this cough has remained a bit of a mystery.

Anyway, every night upon waking I suppressed the cough to avoid disturbing my husband and daughter who sleeps nearby. Instead, I suffered, attempting in vain to inhale a sufficient breath until I was forced to clear my throat just a little. I would do this repeatedly until I fell asleep again. This ritual had been severely hindering my ability to get a good night’s sleep-a precious commodity when you have a two year old.

Then, two nights ago I woke up with the stupid cough and I suddenly felt totally fed-up with the situation. It was 4am and the exhaustion felt all-encompassing. That’s when I started pleading with the cough to go away. I had just reached the end of my tether, as it were, when I had a thought, or an intuition of sorts. A small voice in my head said to me, “you have to let it out. If you don’t let it out, it will never get better”.

So I did. I just let myself cough until I felt better. Afterwards, the cough completely disappeared and I haven’t had a problem with it since. What is more, my family did not even stir. They slept right through it.

The physical situation, i.e. the coughing conundrum, seems a bit silly and trivial. However, the words that filtered into my head that night are really sticking with me. “You have to let it out”.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that I asked The Universe roughly 48 hours ago if I should keep writing. I have received some awesome support from the community encouraging me, and this alone is probably enough. But it is the experience with the little voice in my head that night that has really inspired me to move forward with this blog.

And, in fact, it is encouraging me to go even deeper with it. Maybe I need to trust myself and my small readership with some of the more personal elements of my existence. I suppose I do not only reserve caution for my physical being, but also for my emotional and spiritual self. I have always struggled to share my authentic person with others. So, for better or for worse, I am going to keep writing, barring hospitalization for any injuries sustained in the process.

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9 thoughts on “Bumps, Bruises and Limiting Beliefs

  1. Well, as far as the writing goes, you are very articulate in your intent which is a good quality in a writer. The more you do something the better you get in time, but that doesnt mean everything WILL be better than the last. Which brings me to my point about your cautious nature. Just like with writing, or any artistic act of self expression one must let go of any real expectations in order to break through that glass ceiling. That translates directly to life as well. As cautious as your inherent nature may be, shit still happens that is seemingly out of your control. Now im not saying go bungee jumping but you gotta take risks and chances. Our bodies heal but time never returns.

    Life is nothing more than a series of opportunities that we either seize or ignore. I find the more people ignore opportunities the more in a rut they tend to feel. Not every opportunity yields positive results, but every experience in life offers lessons and these lessons offer personal growth. You basically already said it, your “physical limitations” are 100% mental, unless you are confined to a wheel chair. But yes! Great read! keep up the good work and dont let too many opportunities pass you by my friend, one of them could open doors you never knew existed.

    Im going to follow your blog, feel free to read some of my stuff and follow back if you like!

    Like

    1. Hey, thanks so much! I really appreciate your feedback. As I said, I am very cautious in many aspects of my life, especially physically and with respect to opening up to others about my spirituality and emotional world. I am quite prone to taking risks with travel, education, career and life experiences. However, I have witnessed some intense tragedy and faced a significant amount of loss- issues I also struggle with revealing in my writing. I hope to start broaching some more of those topics here…

      Anyway, I am looking forward to checking out your site. Again, thank you so much for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not really sure. But I know that even being faced with that question makes me feel a bit sweaty and squeamish.

        Maybe it’s because I have always retreated into the safe space of the intellectual, rational world of academia and am only now beginning to access other more mystical ways of knowing. I can’t even imagine what my colleagues (and many of my friends) would say about me reading LOA literature!

        I am wildly out of my comfort zone here and it’s awesome! But it’s also scary . Oh so scary. (Ok, I’m going to go barf now).

        Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL
    That reminds me of something ive recently realized in an allegorical kind of way. Academia, or simply embarking on a life purpose through school is simplistic in structure. I’m not saying that going through 8 years of schooling to achieve your PhD is easy by any means BUT the ability to start on that path and the subsequent directions involved are laid out perfectly, a map from A-B, a blueprint to success. Where as finding your own way, through art, athletics, altruism, etc. is a difficult road. A scary and frightening road of uncertainty, self discovery, self-doubt, but ultimately leading to an internal sense of fulfillment, which is what most of us crave, deep deep down.

    Fuck people. Fuck them right in their dumb ego-driven narrowly focused faces. Honestly. Bottom line, no one knows what the truth is in life, behind literally everything. Politics, religion, even science isnt free of subjectivity, that and its always changing with new discoveries so its highly malleable by nature. The anxiety stemming from being judged negatively by people you care about and respect is strong. And yes, being 100% your authentic self will cause people to either gravitate towards you or avoid you like the plague. That happens naturally, and the people that you attract while being authentic are people you can be 100% open with without fear of deep judgment. I have like 5 friends who i have had over 10 years, a tonne of acquaintances but it takes a special person to not only captivate my attention but also be able to handle me being myself all of the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! Yes! So much yes!

      Also, some philosophers (Rousseau in particular) claim that human progress stems in part from vanity. Maybe we are limiting ourselves if we insist we should completely remove ourselves from concern regarding the opinions of others.

      Liked by 1 person

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