The past couple of days have been a bit rough for me physically. Normally a very cautious person, I rarely participate in any activity that could expose me to significant bodily harm. I tend to consider the potential perils behind every move I make- a possible tumble down the stairs or twisted ankle lurks behind every step.
I do not know why I am like this, but my mother told me I was born this way. I walked very late and I rarely climbed trees or rode my bike very fast. I liked to play sports but I was never aggressive or daring enough to excel.
I suppose this means that I have spent my life with a somewhat crippling awareness of my own physical limitations. By this I mean that the awareness of my limitations may have imposed even more limitations on my physical self. If we give any credence to the Law of Attraction, then it becomes clear how constraining these beliefs can be. In other words, a perpetual fear that one’s body cannot perform as it should ensures that it will not.
So, as I said, I rarely get injured, though the last couple of days have proven a bit of an exception. I write to you today with a skinned elbow, a slightly twisted and scraped up ankle and a bruised and swollen finger. I have run into countless door frames and tripped on seemingly insignificant cracks in the sidewalk. I also have a rather attractive bug bite in between my eyebrows and a smattering of pimples covering my generally clear complexion. Come to think of it, my stomach has been a bit wonky as well. So what the hell is going on with my body?!
Perhaps my body is just responding in kind to the limiting beliefs I have imposed upon it. Or, perhaps with the increased spiritual awareness I have been experiencing I am suffering some physical discomfort. Many people theorize that clumsiness and physical illness can often accompany the process of spiritual ascension.
Or perhaps I just need to be confined to a padded room or get one of those bubble suits in order to reduce further risk to myself. Who knows?
On the up side, however, I did have one very positive experience with wellness right about the time that all this other puzzling physical stuff started. I have been visiting my mother-in-law for a few weeks now, and ever since I arrived I have been waking up at night with a strange cough. Allergies are quite severe in this part of the country, so I could chalk it up to that. But I have never had allergies in my life, so this cough has remained a bit of a mystery.
Anyway, every night upon waking I suppressed the cough to avoid disturbing my husband and daughter who sleeps nearby. Instead, I suffered, attempting in vain to inhale a sufficient breath until I was forced to clear my throat just a little. I would do this repeatedly until I fell asleep again. This ritual had been severely hindering my ability to get a good night’s sleep-a precious commodity when you have a two year old.
Then, two nights ago I woke up with the stupid cough and I suddenly felt totally fed-up with the situation. It was 4am and the exhaustion felt all-encompassing. That’s when I started pleading with the cough to go away. I had just reached the end of my tether, as it were, when I had a thought, or an intuition of sorts. A small voice in my head said to me, “you have to let it out. If you don’t let it out, it will never get better”.
So I did. I just let myself cough until I felt better. Afterwards, the cough completely disappeared and I haven’t had a problem with it since. What is more, my family did not even stir. They slept right through it.
The physical situation, i.e. the coughing conundrum, seems a bit silly and trivial. However, the words that filtered into my head that night are really sticking with me. “You have to let it out”.
If you have been reading my blog, you know that I asked The Universe roughly 48 hours ago if I should keep writing. I have received some awesome support from the community encouraging me, and this alone is probably enough. But it is the experience with the little voice in my head that night that has really inspired me to move forward with this blog.
And, in fact, it is encouraging me to go even deeper with it. Maybe I need to trust myself and my small readership with some of the more personal elements of my existence. I suppose I do not only reserve caution for my physical being, but also for my emotional and spiritual self. I have always struggled to share my authentic person with others. So, for better or for worse, I am going to keep writing, barring hospitalization for any injuries sustained in the process.